Partnership and Parenthood: Sharing the Mental Load With Your Partner

Every mom can relate to the idea of the mental load — that endless to-do list that we carry around in our heads every day. Whether that mental load is shared with a partner or not plays a huge role in how well we can navigate it.

In this episode, host Siobhan Bingham welcomes relationship coach Matt Marquez for a conversation about the mental load and the critical role of partnership in managing daily parenting responsibilities. Matt offers his perspective as a coach, but because he’s also a dad, he shares personal experiences, too.

From the importance of self-awareness to communication to small, sustainable actions, listeners will gain practical strategies for easing the mental load, improving relationship dynamics, and creating a collaborative, empathetic approach to family life. Matt has some surprising insights that might just change how you approach getting support from your partner.

Matt Marquez is the founder of Grow More Joy Relationship Coaching, and his mission is to help you build the marriage of your dreams.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to navigate parenting and partnership

  • Strategies for self-care and effective communication

  • How to understand the mental load from a dad's perspective

  • How to overcome guilt and prioritize your needs so you can be a better mom and partner

Resources from this episode:

  • Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode

“If you think about all the things you can do as a parent, it's endless. It's literally endless. You could always be doing more. And if you're always thinking, “I should be doing more, I should be doing this other thing,” you will always feel guilty any time you choose to do something for yourself because you are — I'm doing air quotes — ‘neglecting’ your responsibility.” — Matt Marquez

“I think one thing that's helped us is to treat these as experiments. Instead of saying, ‘We're going to solve this division of the mental load,’ I'm just going to try something. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, we'll talk about it, and then we'll go from there.” — Matt Marquez

“Instead of making a list of things to do, what I recommend and what I've done in my relationship is we say, ‘Okay, this is the core thing I need. Now, can we figure out together how to make that happen?’ … Now, finding a solution becomes a collaborative experience.” — Matt Marquez

“When I'm constantly on, constantly going, constantly doing all of the things that I could do as mom, then I'm not getting enough Siobhan time. And then I'm not getting enough mental stimulation to be able to go back into reading Robert Munch a bunch of times. I need to be able to have times to get that stimulation in other ways, and so being able to explain that to [my partner] without feeling guilty has helped, but also him being able to see how it's affected me has helped too.” — Siobhan Bingham

“It's so easy to slip into this place where we feel like I should be doing this, I should be doing that. Because there's an endless number of tasks and responsibilities we can have as parents. And so if we don't consciously choose our decisions, we will just feel like slaves. We will feel like slaves to our partners, to our kids, and that's just a painful place to be.” — Matt Marquez

Connect with Matt Marquez:

Connect with Siobhan:

  • Tired of being tired? Go from “Too Tired” to “Ready for Anything” with Siobhan’s 21 Energy Hacks

  • Ready to reclaim your energy and wellness, Mama? DM Siobhan on Instagram for details about her coaching services.

About Siobhan:

Siobhan Bingham coaches working moms to boost their energy so they can be more present with their kids. Through her ALIGN framework she offers personalized strategies for managing exhaustion and finding a daily rhythm that is made just for you.

Solutions

Everwell Coaching helps moms drop the guilt and build lives that feel joyful, grounded, and truly their own.


Through her signature JOY framework, Siobhan blends holistic coaching with practical tools to support confident decision-making, emotional steadiness, and self-trust.

It’s not about doing more—it’s about living in a way that actually feels good. You don’t have to earn rest, joy, or ease. You just have to know how to build it.